Darkness of Mind
by BlackRose16
Summary: I decided to put all of the one-shot Seto ficcies together in one thing since the last 2 are sequels. Its easier this way. *Yaoi in last 2 chapters*
1. Torn Sanity

I know, I know.  I still need to finish Blue Eyed Sacrifice, and believe me, I will.  It's just…DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE YOUR FIRST NOVEL _AND _FANFICS, WHEN YOU STILL HAVE SCHOOL? O.O Um…eh heh.  Anyways…on with the fic.  Oh yeah…I don't own nothin' but a shitty computer. Want it?  ^.^()   

_//FLASHBACK//_

_"Check and mate," came a small and triumphant voice as he made his last move, winning the chess match.  The man across from him laughed.  _

_"So you won.  Well, I'm a man of my word.  I'll adopt you _and_ your little brother."  _

_The blue-eyed boy smiled and looked at his little brother.  He had succeeded in keeping the grown ups from separating them.  And now they would have a family again. _

_*~*  _

_"And this is your room, Seto," Gozaburo said as he opened the door to the cavernous room.  Seto looked around, then turned to face his new stepfather.  _

"Could you have Mokuba's room be nearby?"  Gozaburo smiled and nodded, closing the door behind him as he left.  Seto looked up at the ceiling and blinked.  

_"I've never seen such a big bedroom before," he said in awe.  He plopped down on the large, squishy bed and sighed, surveying _his _room.  Now he could be happy again.  No more orphanages.  No more hard, lumpy beds.  Just happy days in his new, rather large home.  _

_*~*  _

_"Stop it!  Let go of me!"  _

_Seto kicked and screamed as Gozaburo picked him up again.  _

_"You dare make a fool out of me?  What the hell is wrong with you, you little smartass!  I'll teach you to be so damn cheeky!"  _

_The child cried out as Gozaburo struck him hard across the face, sending him onto the ground.  _

_"Don't you DARE EVER DO THAT AGAIN, SETO!" he shouted as he continued to beat the poor child.  _

_Hours later, Seto lay motionless on the ground, hardly daring to breathe.  He was childishly afraid that Gozaburo would come back in and start it all over again.  He never cried anymore.  He had learned better than that, as the tears that fell only seemed to make his stepfather angrier.  _

_//END FLASHBACK//_

Seto kicked angrily at the wall, sending chips of concrete flying into the air.  

"Always have to have the last laugh, don't you, you bastard!"  He held his head tightly in his hands, trembling as he fell to his knees, his brain pounding against his skull as the unwanted memories bombarded his thoughts.  

_//FLASHBACK//_    

_Gozaburo straightened to his full height, smiling as he said, _

_"Oh, I believe it's high time to start disciplining you, dear Mokuba.  Hmm…I suppose now would be as good a time as ever."  _

_Seto struggled to stand up, ignoring the pain that was circulating throughout his body.  _

_"WHAT? No, please, F-father, don't.  Hit me instead.  Please, leave him alone."  _

_Gozaburo glared at Seto, eyes narrowed dangerously.  _

"You will NOT tell ME what to do, child!  I say it's time he learns his place!"  He walked over to the small, cowering child; a sadistic grin playing it's way across his lips.  Seto's eyes widened and he ran over and stood in front of his little brother.  

_"I said leave him alone."  _

_"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"  _

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  Gozaburo stared at him for a moment; his eye twitching angrily, before he backhanded Seto, sending him once again to the ground.  Seto heard Mokuba cry out and was on his feet in an instant, to witness his little brother getting smacked across the face too.  _

_Seto felt the anger take control as he glanced at the big window that was now directly behind his cruel stepfather, the gears of his little mind working.  _

_"Gozaburo!  Leave him alone!"  Seto shouted.  Gozaburo looked up, surprise, then anger, playing across his face.  Seto stepped forward.  _

_ He lifted his hand to strike his defiant stepson, but realized what Seto was planning.  _

_"I am quite the smartass, aren't I, _Father_?"  Seto smiled.  _

_"It's time for you to die.  Goodbye."  And with that, the once innocent blue-eyed child shoved the cruel man out the window, delighting in the scream that was cut short as Gozaburo finally met the concrete ground.  _

_//END FLASHBACK//_

He laughed quietly.  

"I thought I had finally won.  But I didn't.  No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to beat you.  Because of you, I turned into what I feared most of all.  You.  You really did win, didn't you?  You triumphed over me and turned me into the same cold, heartless bastard you were.  I HATE YOU!"  

He rose to his feet and pulled something out of his pocket.  The cold metal weight of it made a wave of comfort wash over him as he loaded the bullets into the chamber.  He chuckled again and turned his azure gaze to the floor.  

"The only difference between us, _Gozaburo_, is that I'm doing this myself.  I won't be outsmarted by a smartass, you see."  He pulled the safety and pressed the cold metal to his temple.  

"I'm going to die leaving no pain in my wake.  I'm ending it now.  I'll make sure to say hello to Noah for you, if he isn't slowly rotting away with his father."  

He started laughing uncontrollably, the same laugh that would send shivers down your spine.  He pulled the trigger, and the laughter ceased.  No one was there to see his blood splatter against the walls, or hear the dull _thud _of his body as it met the ground.  No one saw the puddle of blood surround the remnants of his head.  He wasn't found until the next morning, by his one and only rival, at that.  But for Seto Kaiba, the pain ceased.  There were no more memories to rip apart his already torn sanity.   

  *sniffs*  Wowies…that was….*Blinks*  I can't believe I just wrote that.  Anyways…if you liked it too, please review!  Hey, that rhymed!  WOW!  I am sooooooooooo smert!!!!! 


	2. An Angels Pain

Oh wonderful.  Now I've got writers block for the damn book.  -.-  Oh well.  Anyways…I was starving for a Ryou/Seto thingy, not that many out there, sadly, so I decided to make a one-shot sequel to Torn Sanity since I've gotten writers block for the other thing I'm working on.  Disclaimer: *eye twitch* Cantcha let a girl dream?  

Ryou lay on the large bed he and Seto had shared.  The funeral had ended several hours ago, and he was still in his black suit.  It had been a closed casket funeral, obviously, since most of his dead lover's head had been splattered on the walls.  It was cold and rainy as they buried Seto.  All of his friends had been there.  Hell, even Marik and Malik were there.  It finally hit Ryou that Seto was actually dead and wasn't coming back as they set his coffin into the muddy ground.  He had had to use Bakura as a support so he didn't collapse on the spot.  He could remember three days ago, when the former pharaoh had called him with the dismal news.  Yami had been helping Ryou look for him.   

Gods, it had been horrible.  At first he didn't want to believe that _his _Seto had shot himself in the head.  _I never even knew.  Why didn't I see him suffering?  _Ryou let out a dry sob.  _Seto, why did you do it?  Why didn't you tell me?  I could have helped you!  Why didn't _I _see?  _He buried his face in the pillow, tears sliding silently down his cheeks and onto the pillowcase. 

"Damn it Seto, why didn't you tell me?  Why?" he cried.  

"Because I didn't want you to know."  

Ryou sat up so fast his head started spinning.  

"S-Seto?"  

He blinked several times to clear his tear blurred vision.  

"Yeah, it's me."  

Ryou stared at him, just to be sure.  There he stood, his brown-haired, blue-eyed koi, completely intact.  Something was different about him, though.  

He stood up and ran into Seto's arms, tears streaking down his damp cheeks as he cried into his chest.  

"I-I thought you were dead."  

"I am."  

Ryou pulled away.  

"What?"  

"I am.  See?"  He suddenly realized what was so different about his lover.  A silky, snow white feather fell down onto the carpet silently.  Muddy brown orbs widened.  

"Oh Seto."  

Seto lifted his azure gaze up to the sky.  

"Kuso.  I don't have long, an hour tops."  Ryou sobbed again.  Seto wrapped his arms around him comfortingly, resting his chin on his head.  

"Why-why did you come back?"   Seto unfolded his wings, settling them around Ryou as he looked up at him.   

"I want you to promise me something."  

"Anything……." 

"Don't-don't end your life because of me."  

"But that."  

"Ryou…please…listen to me.  Don't you dare kill yourself.  Wait until your time comes."               

"But why?  I can't live without you!  I-I just can't!  It hurts too much!" 

"I know it hurts now, but it won't be like this forever.  You'll find someone else that makes you as happy as I did, then you'll forget all about me."  

"I wouldn't!  I love you and no one else!"  

Seto closed his eyes as they began to water. It didn't help to dam up the flow as the crystalline tears began to trickle down his cheeks.  

"Oh God, Ryou…"

Ryou reached up and brushed the tears away tenderly with his fingers.  

"I don't think angels are supposed to cry," he whispered.  Seto leaned against his warmth and nudged his mouth with his own.   

He gently probed Ryou's mouth like he had done so many times before and moved down to his jaw line, planting soft kisses on it.  He undid the tie and the first three buttons of Ryou's shirt, kissing every inch of skin tenderly.  Ryou moaned softly and leaned heavily against him.  Before either one of them knew it, Seto's time was up.  He pulled his mouth away from Ryou's and looked at the ceiling again.  

"Ryou," he said softly, "It's time."  

Ryou looked at him, eyes shining with unshed tears.  

"Isn't there any way for you to stay?"  

Seto shook his head sadly, wrapping his arms tighter around him.  

"No."  

"Can I go with you?" 

"No. There wouldn't be any way unless…"  

"I'll do it.  If it means being with you, I'll do it."  

"No!  I won't let you.  Don't even think about it."  

"But it's the only way!"    

"Please, I don't want to see you do it!"  

"I'm going to do it.  If I don't kill myself, I'll die of a broken heart."    

Seto cupped his chin in his hands and looked into his brown eyes in an intense gaze.  

"Ryou…don't you dare do it.  That's why I came here in the first place."  

"I don't want to live without you, Seto!  Please, let me do it!"  He pleaded with his eyes.  Seto looked away.  

"Don't do it.  You'll survive.  Besides, I'll always be watching you…until your time comes and we're together again."   

Ryou held onto him tightly.  

"I'm afraid," he whispered.  Seto kissed the top of his head.  

"I am too."  He pulled away and kissed Ryou softly one last time and walked to the window.  He was about to leave when he turned around and stretched his wings to their full length.  He smiled as he said,   

"Remember, I love you more than anything, Ryou.  Time itself couldn't keep us separated for long.  Just wait until your time comes.  Then we will be together for eternity.  Goodbye."  And with that, Ryou's angel disappeared into the sky, where he would wait and watch until they were together again.  Ryou touched his lips with his fingers and wiped his damp cheeks, smiling a little.  

_Our love can over come anything.  I love you too Seto, and I'll wait, like I promised.  _He bent down and picked up the lone feather, pressing it to his lips before laying it on the table by the bed and falling into a heavy, dreamless sleep.  

*sniffle* That was even sadder!  O.O  I'm gonna freaking cry!   Well, was it fluffy enough for you?  Was it too sappy?  Just press the little purply button and tell me!           


	3. Cry No Tears

BlackRose:  Where the hell do I keep getting these ideas from? Disclaimer:  Feh…yeah, yeah, I own Yu-Gi-Oh.  Ha…and I suppose you'll be telling me you still believe in the Tooth Fairy too?  (You should all know where _that's _from.)  

The blackness of the room is briefly paused as lightning cuts through the cool air like a knife.  The gently _pitter-patter _of the light rain suddenly deepens, so that it is as if someone is hailing rocks at the halfway open glass door.  The lone occupant of the room continues standing on the large stone balcony, elbows resting on the railing, oblivious to the sudden change in weather, completely unaware of his now soaking clothes and sopping hair.  It didn't matter.  Then again, what did anymore?  Nothing was the same as it had once been.  It never would be.  And the loneliness that his heart threatened to succumb to, it was unbearable.  It threatened to eat him up inside, yet there was nothing he could do to ease the pain.  He wanted to die.  Simple as that.  These emotions…depression, anger, loneliness, hatred.  Damned by all.  And he couldn't escape.  No alcohol created could relieve this burden.  He finally moves for the first time in hours, noting his sopping appearance as he walks into the dark room and closes the glass door behind him, locking it in place.  A quick change of clothes is in order, then he is out the door and onto the street, black trench coat flapping behind him.  The rain continues to fall, in thick sheets, against him as he makes his way down the road.  He takes no notice of it and continues walking.  For hours it seems like he is just wandering, but in actuality, he knows where he is going, finally coming to a stop at the entrance of a cemetery.  Rows upon rows of tombstones decorate the slippery grass, but he passes by all, intent on finding a different one, one that wasn't here amidst all of the other "average" people.  A harsh wind whips back long silvery white hair, stinging his face with a thousand needles that he doesn't feel.  He feels no physical pain; the emotional is enough for him to endure.  At last, as he comes to an almost completely empty field of wet green, he stops and makes his way towards the single, lone tombstone.  Kneeling down on the grass, ignoring the wetness that seeps through his pants to his knees, he traces a finger lovingly over the letters bored into the slab of stone. 

Seto Kaiba 

_Caring brother and lover.  We will mourn your loss forever and always.  _

A small, saddened smile graces his lips.  He says nothing for a few moments, just allows the black of the night to swallow him.  Then, 

"I've kept my promise.  I'm still here, like I said I would be.  And you were wrong.  I haven't loved anyone else like I did you."  

Much to be expected, the gravestone remained silent.  

"You've no idea what its like, though.  I'm better off killing myself, since I might as well be dead now.  I don't understand why you want me to wait so long.  I don't think I can stand this much longer.  I-I came very close to it last week.  I was in the kitchen, eating, when I saw the knife.  I still have the cut on my arm."  At this, he sighs, well aware that his deceased lover had probably seen it, shame making itself known.  

"I don't think the others have really noticed.  Except Yami.  I think he can feel it because of the link, and asked me a few times already.  I keep telling him I'm fine, but I'm not sure he believes me.  He hasn't done anything about it, though.  He must understand that he has no idea what its like."  

Again, he receives silence as an answer.  He bites his lip.  

"I wish I could know how long.  Waiting like this is driving me mad.  It's only been a month.  A month, Seto.  And I already feel like I'm losing my mind." He brushes the wet bangs that fall in front of his face out of his eyes with the back of a slender, pale hand.

"Mokuba is doing fine.  He misses you almost as much as I do.  You're lucky you have a little brother for me to watch over, else I might have already broken my word."  A subdued chuckle escapes his throat as he lifts a hand, brushing away the strands of hair that defiantly cling to his face again.  Another strong gust of wind follows, almost carrying the boy off his feet.  He ignores this as well. 

"I wonder sometimes.  Had you lived…would we ever have wed?"  Only a loud boom of thunder answered the question.  He looks forlornly at the tombstone as he stands up, a slim hand caressing the smooth stone as he passes it.  

"I'll be back soon.  Goodbye."  He looks back once, at the cemetery gate, then turns and walks down the sidewalk, trench coat once again billowing out behind him.  He isn't looking where he's going as he crosses the street, the rain so thick it nearly blinds him.  Russet eyes don't see the car that's speeding down the road.  All that manages to come out of his throat is a small gasp, silenced by the thud of his body bouncing off the hood of the car.  A blurred image of the blonde haired drivers face reaches his eyes as he lays on the ground, blood trickling down the side of his face.  He casts his eyes to the sky, eyes empty as he views the black sky.  Despite all, a smile graces his lips and he whispers, 

"Finally.  I'm coming, my love," before falling limp in the drivers arms.  

*Grin*  Well, that ends the little trilogy.  ^.^  It's a happy ending after all.  That's a bit of a rarity for me.  *shrugs*  REVIEW PLEASE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          


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